Greetings

"Did you find everything you needed, sir?"
"Why, yes, I did, thank you. I just needed this birthday card."
"Very good, sir."
"It's for my brother-in-law. Do you really think it's appropriate to get cards for your in-laws?"
"Oh, absolutely. We have a whole section for in-law cards."
"Yes, I saw. Right next to all those cards that play music when you open them."
"Why, yes. Those are very popular."
"I guessed. The woman next to me was opening every single one."
"How delightful!"
"Well, delightful is not the word I would use after she opened the 50th card. By the way, I couldn't help but notice that you have a whole rack of Halloween cards. What's up with that?"
"Why, Halloween is considered by many people to be a major holiday. What better way to celebrate a major holiday than with a greeting card?"
"But Halloween? I mean, what do the cards say? BOO!?"
"Well, some of them say cute things like 'Witching you a happy Halloween!' or 'Ghostly greetings'."
"And who would want to get a card on Halloween?"
"Why, children love cards, you know."
"Only if there's money in them."
"Well, see, you could put candy in them!"
"I'm sorry, I just don't see the point of Halloween cards."
"That's quite all right, sir. By the way, did you know that Grandparent's Day is just around the corner?"
"Grandparent's Day? They have their own day now?"
"Oh, yes, sir. Wouldn't you like to get them some cards?"
"Um, all my grandparents are dead."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Perhaps you'd like to see our sympathy cards?"

Gee, didn't that happen to the first two cars in Kansas?

An American and a Russian satellite collided in orbit.

What's the bad news?

Critics of President Obama's decision to limit executive pay at Wall Street firms bailed out by the government to $500,000 a year say it could lead to a brain drain at such firms.

You mean governing a few people in the wilderness?

A new poll reports that 55 percent of Republicans think the party should become more like Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

Drill, baby, drill

Exxon Mobil Corp. reported a profit of $45.2 billion for 2008, breaking its own record for an American company.

Ah, yes, that's when all those free-market liberals deregulated Wall Street

Republican Rep. Virginia Foxx of North Carolina said that former President George Bush's tax cuts in 2001 created years of economic growth but the country's problems began when Democrats regained majorities in Congress in 2006.

In other news, the sky is blue and the ocean is wet

USA Today ran a story about the Super Bowl that said for some players, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, other players never get to play in it, and some players get to play in the big game several times.