Why is it that driver’s tests ask such irrelevant questions as “If you are traveling at 55 mph on a two-lane highway and you see an intersection up ahead, when do you begin applying the brake: a) 10 yards away, b) 50 yards away, c) 100 yards away, or d) 500 yards away? My answer is, how the heck do I know how far a hundred yards is? Besides, I wouldn’t be traveling anywhere near as slow as 55 mph, I wouldn’t touch the brake if nobody was near the intersection, and I sure wouldn’t be stupid enough to tell the driver’s license people any of that so I would say e) I would be standing on the brakes as soon as I saw an intersection, even if I was looking through a telescope.
Anyway, my point here is they need to start making people know the real rules about driving instead of that hypothetical crap before they start passing out licenses. Such as: What is that stick on the steering wheel for? Have you ever noticed it before, bozo? If you recognize it as a turn signal, when do you use it: a) never, it’s merely there as a decorative device, b) only when I have come to a complete stop and am pondering whether or not I wish to make a turn, c) I kind of snag it as I’m turning the wheel so as to give the driver behind me as little warning as possible, or d) at some point before I actually make the turn?
Speaking of driving, it seems to me that they could do better in driver’s education than to teach people how to drive 15 mph under the speed limit. Why don’t they teach these kids how to drive a stick shift rather than an automatic, so that later in life when they buy a sports car they’ll actually know what gears are? And the driving test should more accurately reflect real-life driving conditions, so it should consist of seeing if you can drive with a jumbo-sized drink cup between your legs, one hand fumbling for a tune on your Ipod, a Big Mac with large fries on the dash, and a cell phone stuck to your ear.
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